The 79th Annual Academy Awards / Oscars were last night

cameron-diaz-03

Um, so until about five minutes ago, I thought the Academy Awards and the Oscars were two different awards shows, and that Cameron Diazsomehow used the power of fug to appear at both of them. Anyway, I meant to watch them (and by “tried”, I mean “intentionally hid the remote so that I’d actually have to walk to the TV to turn it on, which takes way too much strength”), but other important stuff just got in the way, so here’s an overview of the winners:

Best Picture – The Departed
Best Actress – Helen Mirren in “The Queen”
Best Actor – Forest Whitaker as Idi Amin in “The Last King of Scotland”
Best Supporting Actor – Alan Arkin in “Little Miss Sunshine”
Best Supporting Actress – Jennifer Hudson in“Dreamgirls”

And since we all know you care more about what people wore rather than what they won, here’s the Academy Awards picture megapost you’ve been craving.

Alaina Alexander pulls an Antonella Barba

Apparently American Idol got sick of choosing people with actual singing talent, and started selecting girls who like to take off their clothes instead. Which is bad news for the music industry, but good news for my pants. It means they get some extra time off while I browse the net for even more pictures of hot American Idol rejects, like these of Alaina Alexander from her MySpace. Maybe the new trend will be that whenever a girl gets kicked off the show, she does a photoshoot like this. Which might make me actually start watching the show.

Akon assaults more people at his concerts

So you’d think Akon would have learned not to physically assault people at his concerts after he was taped dry-humping a 14-year-old girl during a song, but apparently that’s not the case. In this video, somebody from the audience throws something at him. So he decided to get the security guards to bring the kid up on stage. And then throws him off of it (no, I’m not making this up). Which would be cool if it wasn’t some scrawny 110 pound 12-year-old kid. Wow, Akon is a badass now, huh?

Britney Spears wearing hot pants and showing off her new body

Apparently that liposuction worked out better than intended, becauseBritney Spears has been wearing skimpier and skimpier outfits lately. In fact, some of them even rival the types of things she wore before she hadSean Preston Federline. Like yesterday, when she was seen out and about in Los Angeles wearing fishnet stockings and hot pants. And two months ago, you never would have been able to convince me that I’d be saying she actually looks halfway decent in them right now. Sure, her boobs are going all kinds of ways that don’t match the direction she’s going, but other than that she looks a million times better than she did before.

Since when does Ashlee Simpson have boobs?

ashlee-simpson-14

Every time I see new pictures of Ashlee Simpson, she looks more and more like a porn star. And not the classy, oh-look-at-me-I-just-posed-in-Playboy kind of porn star. I’m talking hard core, alley-way, crap-you-can-only-find-on-foreign-Russian-websites kind of porn star. And when did she get boobs? Wasn’t she supposed to be the frumpy, hideous sister out of the Simpson’s? At this rate, she’s a couple of crotch-shots away from being the next Paris Hilton. Sure, a much, much hotter version, but aParis Hilton doppleganger nonetheless.

Pamela Anderson as CJ Parker again?

Pamela Anderson in the red one-piece bathing suit she used to wear as CJ Parker on Baywatch. Some news outlets are reporting that it’s just for a DirectTV commercial, whereas other news outlets are reporting that it’s actually for an upcoming Baywatchmovie. And by “other news outlets”, I mean “the fantasy world I live in”, because how awesome would it be to have all those boobies on the big screen in surround sound? Sure, critics might say the movie is a “poor excuse to show scantily clad girls in bikini’s”, but who ever said that that had to be a negative thing?